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December 15th, 2009
jokes
[byrthebb]
 | 08:39 pm - Math Test
Math Test
Ole wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little math test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. ‘Without using numbers, represent the number 9.’
‘Without numbers?’ Ole says, ‘Dat’s easy.’ and proceeds to draw three trees.
‘What the hell is this?’ the boss asks.
‘Vot! you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,’ says Ole.
‘Fair enough,’ says the boss. ‘Here’s your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.’
Ole stares off into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. ‘Dar ya go.’
The boss scratches his head and says, ‘How in the hell do you get that to represent 99?’
‘Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it’s dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.’
The boss is getting worried that now he might actually have to hire this dumb Norwegian, so he says, ‘All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.’
Ole stares far into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, ‘Dar ya go. Von hundred.’
The boss looks at the attempt. ‘You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!’
Ole leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, ‘A little dog come along and pooped by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, vich makes von hundred.’
‘So, ven do I start der ya know?
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jokes
[eviltemptress69]
 | 04:57 pm
Justice in Nashville (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Davidson County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible..
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Tennessee Titans Football Team, whom the boy and the judge firmly believe are not capable of beating anyone.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/suns/working.gif) busy
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December 13th, 2009
jokes
[eviltemptress69]
| 11:43 am - The Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup..
#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space...
#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....
#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
Current Location: home
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/suns/cold.gif) cold
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December 10th, 2009
jokes
[buckeyebrain]
 | 09:51 am - Hey, an actual joke! Surely, you remember the name of this community!
PING has signed Elin Nordgeren to an endorsement deal. They'll be selling Clubs You Can Beat Tiger With.
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jokes
[vivakepathak]
 | 07:59 pm - Pets
From very childhood, I have never felt comfortable with the idea and sight of pets. Last year, my feelings about pets took the shape of a thought, "Pets are enslaved animals," and I posted it in an LJ community.
http://community.livejournal.com/quotes/5885425.html
Nobody expressed their agreement with it, and many people laughed at it; but my belief remained as firm as before. Then, with the passage of time, I felt as if there was something missing from the sentence that expressed my thoughts about pets. Subsequently, I came up with a new sentence to express my thoughts and feelings about pets--for me, it is more complete and correct now, not funny at all, but I am sure you will find it funnier:
Pets are enslaved and abused animals.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/suns/happy.gif) calm
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December 5th, 2009
algorithms
[cr4k]
 | 02:19 pm - Finding the nearest in a sorted set of int to a given int
Hi guys,
I'm in the middle of writing a connector to some accounting software and I've been implementing a lazy loading list of proxies because I'm dealing with huge lists of items which load slowly (even the item id s load slowly).
That's not important to the question I am asking though, basically, I want an algorithm which finds either the given search int in my sorted set (of indexes) or the nearest int contained in the list (it doesn't matter, but we can say that the algorithm has a preference for lower numbers if 2 values are equally near)
The essence of the problem is outlined here:
import java.util.TreeSet;
public class Search {
static TreeSet sorted = new TreeSet();
public static void main(String...args){
sorted.add(1);
sorted.add(3);
sorted.add(5);
sorted.add(7);
sorted.add(10);
findNearest(2); // return 1
findNearest(8); // return 7
findNearest(10); // return 10
}
private static Integer findNearest(Integer search) {
return null; //TODO halp pls!
}
}
Thanks for any advice in advance!
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